5.11.11

Flailing

I'm at that point in training where I just want to stop. I'm thinking, what I am doing running another half? Couldn't we have just gone to Vegas without the excuse of a half marathon? -We could just have said, our teething toddler and a cramped rental condo are sending us South for some retail therapy. But we didn't, or more specifically, I didn't. Yes, this entire gig was my idea and now I want to bail - well on the running part at least. I'm flailing. After a mediocre 18.5km today I am thinking, ugh, three more weeks of chilly winter training. New shoes weren't even enough to perk me up today. New IceBreaker leggings weren't even enough to perk me up today - though they performed outstanding despite my foot dragging.

I can't even must up a decent blog it feels like and I don't want this to be a rant you have to read. So... I need you. I need a pep talk. None of this sissy 'you can do it' crap or 'only a few more weeks'. Dig deep and find me some motivation please. As it is I'm wondering how I am going to pace my mom for a sub 2 hour half this coming Sunday. She's counting on me and I can barely count on myself to find the willpower to run long. Here's hoping for excellent weather conditions (no wind, please, it's so defeating for me) and some spring in my step.

Well, at least one person in the family has been a happy camper lately and pretty ok with being bundled up for chilly walks.

2 comments:

  1. I'll tell you what my coaches would tell me on days I "just didn't want to do it"...
    "it's your [insert goal here], not mine. If you don't want it, don't fight for it but don't stand there telling me you want something but can't be bothered to work for it. Stop wasting our time."
    The guilt was enough. The tone was enough and when the [insert here] was filled in with "Olympic Medal" it hit home. I would still grumble but I found myself actually pushing harder.
    Besides - why waste the previous years, months, weeks, days and countless dreams with an off day or moment of second guessing. Sometimes you gotta look frustration in the eye and say "I don't care, I'm finishing this".

    Now for the lame junior high coach - "You can do this! Focus on one foot in front of the other and before you know it you'll have raced and wonder 'what now?'"

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  2. Oh, I should have brought you some Ironman World Championship DVDs. They are so inspring, and make you want to run/workout just beacause you can. I will find you some links and bring you DVD's next time. Hang in there! The worse feeling on race day is knowing that you should have done more training...

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